Larysa Tulupova. On female strength, devaluation, the role of a psychologist, and steps that lead to oneself

In an interview with Larysa Tulupova, Master of Psychology and certified coach, we talk about how to find inner strength amid countless scenarios when the world around us is changing, and how true happiness undoubtedly begins with honesty towards ourselves.

Ms. Larisa, today I want to start our interview with your words, which I find very inspiring: “Life is not a list of tasks, it is a moment that is happening right now. And only you decide how to live it.” Please tell us, how did your personal journey to becoming a psychologist begin?

My path to psychology began in childhood — although I didn't realize it at the time. I was always the girl who knew how to support, explain, and find the right words. Even children older than me followed me, and teachers said, “You will definitely be a teacher.” I just helped others — it came naturally to me.

Then came my economics degree, a red diploma, civil service, accounting, the judicial system... I was always surrounded by people, easily organizing events and finding common ground with everyone. But inside, something remained unfulfilled — like an intuition that led deeper. And I listened. The real journey began when my first mentor appeared in my life. From that moment on, I went to therapy, began to resolve internal issues, learn to listen to myself, set boundaries, and understand — who am I really?

I have come a long way in my transformation: there have been crises and restarts. Marriage, changes, war, forced relocation from Kharkiv. This was a turning point: I realized how important it is for women to have support, especially in times of loss and change. It was then that I finally felt my calling — and I went into professional psychology.

Today, I am a master of psychology, a certified coach, practicing CBT, MAC, mentoring, quantum psychology, and leading the Financial Freedom transformation game. For some time, I was interested in and studied Ayurveda, the laws of the universe, energy, and the nature of female power.

I believe that a woman's true power lies not in perfection, but in the truth about herself. Not in “correctness,” not in roles or expectations, but in the fact that she is alive, feels, chooses to be herself. Listen to yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust your ‘yes’ and “no.” A woman blossoms when she allows herself to be real. Not perfect. Not convenient. Not “the way she should be.” But alive. Sensitive. Imperfect, but sincere. When she no longer plays a role — but allows herself to simply be. As she is. And from this — even more beautiful. This is how female power is born — not demonstrative, but deep.

How do you perceive the image of women in today's world?

Modern women are both strong and exhausted. On the outside, they are smiling, composed, and “successful.” But on the inside, they are often lonely, exhausted, and no longer sure if this is really their path. ⠀I see women who do everything “right” — they build careers, take care of their families, develop themselves, and seek balance. But they disappear from their own lives. They are caring, responsible, and adaptable. But very often, they are convenient for everyone except themselves.

Today's woman is an image of strength without support. She carries everything, but doesn't always have a place to lean on. She understands everything, but hardly ever asks herself, “How do I feel?” And the biggest paradox is that we live in a world with thousands of opportunities, but we still ask ourselves for permission to be happy. ⠀We get used to living on autopilot. Surviving instead of living. Dreaming “later.”⠀And this inner silence, where there is no place for oneself, hurts the most.

But there is another side to the image of the modern woman.

I see more and more women waking up.⠀They no longer want to live on repeat of other people's scripts. They ask uncomfortable questions: “What do I want?” “Who am I, apart from all my ‘roles’?” “What is real and alive for me?”⠀And it is in these questions that we find a new image of women.

Not convenient. But whole. Not perfect. But alive. Not “always strong.” But one who knows how to rely on herself — without a struggle.

I believe in women who allow themselves to:

• Dream without apologizing;

• Cry without feeling ashamed;

• Rest without making excuses;

• Feel without fear of being “too much”;

• Live without waiting for the perfect moment.

Because true strength is not in enduring, but in listening to yourself, choosing yourself, and being yourself — every day.⠀There is no need to turn everything upside down. One sincere question is enough: “What do I want — right now?” That is where the path to yourself begins.

Be yourself... These two words are so important. But in the rhythm of life, amid scenarios and fears... we forget what is most important. What would you highlight as the main steps toward becoming yourself? How can you give yourself permission to be yourself?

“Be yourself”... These are just two words — but they contain the whole universe. They sound simple, but they are also frightening. Because being yourself is not about convenience, it's not about being liked. It's about inner truth, which has often been silent for a long time.⠀Modern women are used to playing roles. Being strong, responsible, correct, beautiful. But beneath this layer, there is often silence.⠀And it is this silence that hurts the most. Because it is about losing touch with oneself.

What steps lead to oneself?

I don't believe in magic formulas. But I know for sure: the path to oneself is not a revolution, but a gentle return. Step by step.

Here are a few things to get you started:

1. Stop. At least for a moment.

You can never truly connect with yourself when you're rushing around. Stop. Without a plan. Without a goal. Just ask yourself, “How am I doing right now?” And let yourself answer honestly.

2. Listen to yourself, not the noise around you.

We are used to listening to other people's voices — advice, trends, expectations. But your own voice is quiet. It doesn't shout. It whispers. Hear it — even if you haven't listened to it in a long time.

3. Accept your humanity.

You have the right to be imperfect. You have the right not to know. Not to cope. To want more.⠀Being yourself means being alive. Not perfect.

4. Start small — and don't wait for the perfect moment.

The moment when “everything comes together” will never come. But you can start returning to yourself today. With a deep breath. With a smile at yourself in the mirror. With an honest “no” where you always said “yes.”

5. Give yourself permission. Don't wait for it from outside.

Permission to dream. Permission not to meet expectations. Permission to be different: gentle, loud, quiet, wise, childish. Because you don't have to do anything. You already are. And that's enough.

Being yourself is the most important encounter in life.

It's not a destination. It's a relationship we build with ourselves every day. And every woman deserves to feel who she is — when she's not acting, proving, fighting. When she just is. Alive. Real. Free.

Today, I would like to lift the veil on the topic of devaluation. However, devaluation not only from others, but also from ourselves. How can we learn to value ourselves? How can we learn not to be afraid to talk about our achievements and to notice them in general?

Today, I want to touch on a topic that hurts quietly but deeply. A topic that makes us devalue our actions, doubt our own worth, compare ourselves to others, and be ashamed of our own light. This is devaluation. And the most destructive devaluation is not external, but internal. When a woman says: “What have I done?” “It's hard for everyone, nothing special.” “This is not success yet, then there will be a reason.”

Why do we devalue ourselves?

Because it was convenient for the world: don't stick out, don't be proud, don't show off. Because in childhood we were rarely praised just like that — without “buts.” Because we got used to being there for everyone — and forgot what it's like to be there for ourselves. And also — because we are afraid:

• of seeming selfish;

• of losing love if we become “too much”;

• of disappointing others if we acknowledge our strength.

But the truth is that a woman who devalues herself extinguishes her own light.⠀

 And this is not modesty. This is self-betrayal.

How can you learn to value yourself?

Not through pride. But through gratitude and awareness.⠀Here's where you can start:

1. Write down your small victories. Every day. Even if it's “I went to bed on time” or “I said ‘no’ with respect for myself.”

2. Notice how much strength you already have. You've come further than you realize. You are the result of thousands of choices in which you remained human.

3. Talk about your achievements. Out loud. Without apologies. Because your story can inspire another woman not to give up.

Because a woman who values herself:

• doesn't wait for permission;

• doesn't live on autopilot;

• doesn't choose fatigue over joy;

• doesn't ask to be herself — she just is.

And the world responds to this. When you accept yourself, not only do your feelings change, but everything around you changes too. Because people don't value you more than you allow them to.

What will a woman who begins to value herself receive?

• Confidence without harshness;

• A voice without fear;

• Peace without burnout;

• And — most importantly — a sense of wholeness.⠀

Because you don't need to “prove” yourself.

You need to notice yourself. Support yourself. And allow yourself to be.

With love to all who are learning to see their value not when they “achieve” it, but right now —

You help women discover their true selves. This is so important. What are your personal “wings behind your back” in times when light and darkness are so intertwined?

The world is not easy right now. Sometimes it seems that the world has become too loud. Too demanding. Too fast. A woman runs — between chores, children, tasks, expectations. She gathers herself in the morning, piece by piece, with a smile — and moves forward, because she has to. But inside — there is silence. Not a peaceful silence, but one that hurts. A tired silence, where she has not heard herself for a long time. But in the darkest moments, I remember: “Even the shortest dawn is stronger than a long night.”

My “wings behind my back” are not about perfect habits or iron willpower. They are about profound things that are not visible from the outside, but which keep me going from within:

1. The memory of my true self.

When everything around me is buzzing, I don't turn to my ideal self, but to my real self. The one who has fallen and gotten back up. The one who is not ashamed of fatigue. The one who knows: “Water wears away stone. And a woman remembers her strength.”

2. The warm hands of other women.

I believe in the power of the female circle. In the gentle support that comes from eyes that say, “I see you, and you are not alone.” Because “where women are close, the world holds together.” And when I am tired, I do not hide. I go where I can be carried until I remember how to fly.

3. An inner voice that says, “This too shall pass.”

Darkness sometimes descends. But it is not eternal. “There are spots on the sun, but it still shines.” I teach myself to trust life, even when I cannot see the road. Just take a step. And then another. Sometimes my light is just my breath.

4. Wise words and silence.

Sometimes a single phrase can hold you tighter than any plan. “You know, child, what is yours will not pass you by.” My mother's words. The words of the soul. Words that stop the pain and remind you that the world is not against you. I go to the park, walk, and give thanks for the day. Because even on the darkest night, a woman is a candle that does not go out if it burns from within.

5. The real touch of life.

Sometimes we wait for happiness like a plane from the future. But it is in the moment.

 In a sip of morning coffee. In the warmth of the sun on your palms. In the silence under your feet when you walk barefoot.

I teach myself to feel — not just to function.⠀

Because life is not about “getting everything done.” It's about “feeling yourself in everything.”

6. Freedom to be different.

Sometimes my wings are a day of silence. And sometimes they are laughter until tears. Sometimes it's the child in me speaking, sometimes it's a wise old soul.⠀I no longer choose between roles. I choose to be alive.

And these are my wings.⠀

A woman is not just a guardian. A woman is a source.

Because every woman who remembers who she is holds not only herself. She holds the whole world.

Let's imagine that right now every woman on the planet is reading your speech. What words would you like to say?

If every woman on Planet Earth could hear my words right now, I wouldn't ask — I would remind them.

I would remind them that you didn't come into this world to not have time for everything. You came to live. To feel. To laugh. To cry. To draw with your finger on a fogged-up window. You don't have to be convenient, perfect, or quiet.

You have to be alive. You have to be yourself.

I know how hard it is to carry other people's expectations. How scary it is to admit, "I'm hurting. I'm tired. I can no longer be who everyone wants me to be."

But I also know how happy it is to wake up one morning not “on schedule” but because your soul has come alive.⠀It's not about changing the world. It's about returning to yourself — and the world will change around you.

I want to say to every woman:

You have the right to a voice. To a dream. To your own rhythm. Your own depth. Your own story. Don't be afraid to be “too much.” Don't be afraid to be “different.” Because it is your uniqueness that is your beauty.

When you allow yourself to be, others are allowed to be too.

Your freedom ignites. Your tenderness heals. Your courage opens the sky.

And that is why I ask you not to give up. Even if the world is difficult. Even if there is fear. Hold on to yourself. As you would hold a child. Gently. With faith. And with love. ⠀Because inside you is the strength of generations. Wisdom. Flame.⠀And you only need to remember yourself — and you will become that fire that gives light, not burns.

Life should not be a struggle. Life is not waiting for a better moment.⠀Life is you. Here. Now. The one who smiles when she sees her reflection.

I believe: You can create. You can inspire. You can love — yourself, the world, life.⠀Because you are a woman. And that is already a blessing.

Live. Dream. Love. Notice. Breathe. Embrace.

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