Kris Shtern: “Every Woman Deserves to Be in the Beauty of Her Authentic Nature”
- BOMOND VIP fashion magazine
- 2 hours ago
- 9 min read
Kris Shtern is a guide to the new world and a practicing psychologist. Her professional journey has evolved gradually, shaped by her own experience of self-discovery and her search for a deeper understanding of human nature. Following a personal loss, this experience took on particular significance, while her work with psychology and spirituality became an even more conscious part of her professional perspective.
In her conversation with BOMOND VIP, Chris Stern speaks about the woman who no longer wants to live by the script of the “good girl”; about the freedom to hear her own desires and the courage to remain true to herself despite the expectations of others. She speaks about self-love without the beautiful façades — as the ability to be a source of support for yourself even when life is far from perfect. About fear as a protective mechanism that should not be destroyed, but understood. And about living on autopilot, where the simple “I want” gradually gives way to an endless “I have to.”
The new interview is about returning to oneself as a long and honest process — one in which a woman gradually lets go of imposed roles, explores her own nature, and learns to build a life in alignment with who she truly is.
Ms. Khrystyna, today I would like to begin our conversation with your perspective on a woman’s journey — one that is not always about dramatic change, reaching new heights, or dazzling stories with fanfare. Often, it is about quiet transformations, everyday steps, and the courage to follow the call of your heart. Could you tell us how your personal story began, before you took on the role of a guide to the new world?
I came to the profession of a guide to the new world after the death of the man I loved in the war.
Before that, I already held a degree in practical psychology, but I struggled to find my place in practice because I felt constrained by the boundaries of classical psychology alone.
Although psychology is defined as the study of the soul, I always felt that it lacked a deeper understanding of the spiritual dimension of human development. That is why, alongside my university studies, I embarked on my own path of inner and spiritual development through various practices — and I saw how powerful the combination of psychology and spiritual knowledge could be.
In 2024, the man I loved was killed in the war. That experience became the moment when I first truly felt how deeply psychology and spirituality can interact.
Because beyond the support of those close to me and the passage of time, it was this inner work that helped me move through grief without losing my connection to life.
As I gradually began to find my way back to myself, I realized that this was the direction in which I wanted to continue developing. Because this path is not only about me.
There are many women who go through loss, inner crises, and the experience of losing themselves. And I know how important it is at such a moment to encounter a space where you are not being “fixed,” but are instead helped to find your way back to yourself.
And almost immediately after making that inner decision, an opportunity arose in my life to pursue the profession of a guide to the new world at @new_world_university — an opportunity I embraced without hesitation.
If you, as an artist, were to paint a portrait of the modern woman, what would that painting look like? What qualities, values, and inner state would define this image in your vision?
In my view, the modern woman is a woman who no longer wants to simply survive, earn love, fit herself into predefined frameworks and rules, or limit her own strength and potential. She explores herself, her nature, talents, desires, and dreams.
And in this process, I see so much strength and beauty. It is as though a woman can finally live freely — each in her own authentic way, expressing herself and fulfilling her potential according to the calling of her soul, in any sphere: motherhood, homemaking, business, creativity, or science.
That is why every woman deserves her own painting, one in which she is portrayed in all the beauty of her feminine and authentic nature — whatever form that expression may take
I was particularly intrigued by the term “guide to the new world.” It sounds like a profound system that combines quantum and classical psychology, work with energy, and an understanding of the laws governing the universe. Could you tell us what this calling entails and which fundamental laws you associate with this concept?
Being a guide to the new world is not simply a profession, but an entire philosophy of life and a way of seeing the world.
To be a guide means not only conducting sessions, but also cultivating deep relationships — first and foremost with oneself, with other people, and with the world.
It is also about the ability to create a safe and transformative space for another person. A space built on connection, trust, respect for the client’s freedom, deep professional ethics, awareness of my own state, and responsibility for the process I facilitate.
I am deeply drawn to the diversity of tools available in this work, which is why I do not limit myself to any one particular technique, school of thought, or “instruction from a book.” For each person, I create an individual combination of practices and methods according to their needs and inner processes.
This makes it possible to work holistically — through the body, psyche, and energy. And it is precisely this approach that, in my view, allows for the deepest and most lasting results.
It is extremely important to me that the spiritual dimension of this work remains integrated into a person’s real life rather than becoming an escape from it.
That is why I combine the depth of inner processes with professional ethics, psychological grounding, responsibility, and safe, attentive support for the client.
We live in a world where women embody countless roles while simultaneously facing expectations and narratives imposed upon them. One of the most common is the role of the “good girl.” In your view, how can a woman step outside this script and learn to live according to her own desires rather than the expectations of those around her?
The first thing to do is to become aware that you are living according to the “good girl” script at all, because it is often an unconscious pattern. It is highly multifaceted, and it can manifest differently in every woman.
Some seek to earn love, some remain silent when they want to scream, some endure when they want to say “no,” some are afraid of judgment, while others are afraid to express themselves. But beneath all of this lies the same thing: the fear of being your true self.
That is why the second step is radical honesty with yourself. Think of it as a check-up of every area of your life, where you need to look honestly at things as they really are, rather than through rose-colored glasses.
I really want to emphasize that this can be a deeply painful process: acknowledging that you have been playing a role, deciding that you no longer want to, honestly examining your entire life, and simply allowing yourself to withstand everything that will surface and unfold.
Do not turn away from painful realizations or from the version of yourself that is going through this healing journey.
But when the healing process comes to an end, you no longer have either the desire or the need to be a good girl, because you simply become yourself.
And as a woman who has already walked this path, I can say that it is a thousand times worth it. There is an incredible feeling of complete alignment with yourself, your desires, your body, and your soul.
Today, the idea of returning to yourself and cultivating self-love is discussed more than ever, while at the same time becoming a foundation for a harmonious life. What steps do you consider essential on this journey? How can we learn to hear ourselves without getting lost in the pace of modern life, and what does it truly mean to love yourself?
I’ll start with the last question: how do you know that you love yourself?
I only realized this recently, when I was going through a particularly difficult period in my life. I didn’t feel or look very well, both physically and emotionally. But when I looked in the mirror at the dark circles under my eyes, I heard a voice in my head saying: “Darling, you’re simply tired and you need to rest. What do you want right now? Maybe your favorite TV series and a cup of coffee? Or perhaps you just need to sleep?”
Five years ago, however, I would probably have said to myself something along the lines of: “Look at you. What do you even look like right now? Go and pull yourself together.”
Can you feel the difference between those two statements?
To me, that is what genuine self-love looks like. Not only when everything is going well and you run a bath with candles and a face mask, because that is often what we call self-love. But when you are in a terrible state, mood, or period of your life — and still remain your own best friend, source of strength, and support.
But if I were at the beginning of this journey, I would start by getting to know myself. It sounds paradoxical, but most of us actually do not know ourselves very well.
I would begin with questions: What in my life truly belongs to me, and what has been imposed upon me? What gives me a sense of pleasure, relaxation, and peace? And what takes those things away? What does a harmonious life mean to me? How will I know or feel that I am living in harmony with myself and the world?
I would make these questions — and the search for their answers — a priority. Because each of us will have our own meaning behind words like “harmony,” “peace,” and “resource.” For one person, it may be an intense workout; for another, it may be lying under a blanket with a book.
In both life and business, we are often held back by fear: the fear of putting ourselves out there, speaking up, starting something new, or even talking about our services. Why, in your view, does this fear become such a powerful barrier between a dream and taking action? And what is the healthiest way to transform it?
It is important to understand that fear is not something bad, even though it is very often demonized and we are told to get rid of it.
If we look deeper, our fears are protectors. They emerged at certain points in our lives to keep us safe from something. They stand guard and become activated whenever there is even the slightest hint that a traumatic experience might repeat itself.
That is why I genuinely believe we do not need to get rid of our fears as though they were something unnecessary that only gets in our way. What matters far more is getting to know them. Ask yourself: Where did this fear come from? What is it protecting me from? What function does it serve?
And when you begin to find answers to these questions, you start to understand that fear is only one part of you, not the entirety of who you are. Fear is never greater than we are.
From there comes gratitude for the fact that, at some point, this mechanism truly helped you survive something painful or protected you from something that could have caused serious harm. And then the fear simply steps back because it is no longer needed to protect you.
But that does not mean that once we have worked through everything, we will never be afraid of anything again. Every new level of life comes with its own fears, and that is normal. The difference is that when you know how to work with them, you can recognize and acknowledge them — and still take action, even when you are afraid.
We often fail to notice when we begin living “by inertia,” caught in a routine that gradually distances us from our own desires. How can we recognize this state in time, and what helps bring a sense of fulfillment, meaning, and inner movement back into our lives?
Routine — and not only routine — begins to consume us when we lose touch with ourselves. It is like living on autopilot: you simply function, but the actual feeling of being alive is no longer there.
Often, what lies behind this state is simple exhaustion — when there has been too much “I have to” in your life and almost no “I want.”
That is why the first step toward reconnecting with yourself is to ask: “What I am about to do right now — do I have to do it, or do I want to?”
And there is another important word: “important.” Sometimes I understand that I do not want to do something at a particular moment, but it matters to me, my life, or my future, so I need to make an effort and do it anyway.
But “I have to” is about constantly ignoring yourself, your desires, your exhaustion, and your inner state.
So let there be as much “I want” in your life as possible, let there be “this is important,” and as little “I have to” as possible. Because the only thing we truly have to do in this life is be happy.
