Alisa Kaduri: "You are the main director of your life"

"You can do more than you think," - this is the epigraph of the new publication on the pages of the BOMOND VIP fashion magazine. This conversation will be reflected in everyone who reads it. Many recognize themselves between the lines of meaning, and the heroine not only opens her way, but also tells her how to listen to her own heart and be the main director of her life.

The main character of the DIGITAL cover of March was Alisa Kaduri - a warm guide to maturity, a woman who inspired the editorial staff of the magazine with her own views, values and beliefs. We talked about inner resilience and motherhood as the greatest transformation of life. About relationships as a daily choice and movement not as an escape, but as growth. On spirituality and vocation, a choice that comes not from the fear of others, but according to one's own sense of truth.

In this conversation, Alisa talks about the resistance in life, about the majestic awareness, about the ability to see the meaning in the falls and appreciate the moments of silence. She shares her own path of returning to herself and encourages readers to trust their own intuition, make decisions from the heart and remain true to themselves ... even when the world expects something completely different.

Ms. Alisa, I am infinitely happy that today you are flourishing on the pages of our magazine in the main role of DIGITAL covers. And I want to start our conversation with your words, which impress me very much: "You always have something that can bring you back to yourself - breathing and awareness." Tell us, please, what was the beginning of your personal story before your own destiny to help women find their own way?

My journey did not begin with the desire to help others. It started with great confusion and pain inside. From the moments when everything looked "right" on the outside, but it was empty and quiet inside. I have been looking for answers in the world for a long time - in people, roles, achievements. And only when I stopped, began to hear the breath and feel myself in the body, I realized: everything I was looking for is already in me.

Helping women has not become a profession, but a natural continuation of my own journey of returning to myself. I don't lead — I walk next to you and light up what a woman already has.

You entered the rhythm of adult life very early: study, work, responsibility. When you look back on that period today, what was it for you: early maturity of character, ambition, or natural need to build one's own support in life?

It was not so much an ambition as an internal need to have resistance. I realized early on: stability is not something that comes from outside, it needs to be built. Maybe it was an early maturity of character, but I never took it as a victim. It was natural for me to take responsibility and move forward.

In your words there is a lot about self-reliance. Do you remember the moment when you first really realized that you can only rely on your own decisions?

The final realization came in 2006, when my father passed away, I was 24 years old.

Twenty years have passed, but I remember that day in detail: Kyiv, morning, a phone call to work and a quiet voice in the phone - "your dad is no more".

It was at that moment that I realized that I had become an adult. Not according to the passport, not according to the circumstances - internally. When you suddenly feel that there is no longer that shoulder behind which you could always hide, and now you are the support yourself.

It was a painful but very clear insight. And at the same time, I always feel that he is there. I know that he sees my path and is proud of his daughter. And, perhaps, it is this inner feeling of support that gives me the strength to make decisions and not be afraid of responsibility.

You have repeatedly started from scratch and every time you have risen. What do you consider a key quality in yourself that every time allowed you not to stop, even when the path was not easy?

Internal stability. And also — the ability to see the meaning even in falls. I don't take “zero” as the end. For me, it's always space for a new level. And, honestly, I'm close to the state of movement. Stopping is more difficult for me than starting.

Motherhood often changes a woman much deeper than she expects. What is motherhood for you today? And what values do you think are really key in a relationship with a child?

Motherhood is the greatest transformation of my life. It taught me softness where there was only strength before. The main value for me is unconditional love and respect for the child's personality. I believe that the child does not belong to the parents. It comes through us, but it has its own way. My task is not to sculpt, but to support.

Relationships are a daily choice. What does it mean to you to choose each other in marriage ... after the experience, transformations and changes that everyone in a couple inevitably goes through?

This means staying in dialogue every day. Choosing is not about emotion, it's about decision. After transformations, crises and changes, it is important not to hold on to the past version of the partner, but to accept it as new. And allow yourself to be new too.

There is a lot of movement in your story ... geographical and internal. Moving, changing spheres, new environments. What does movement mean to you: an escape from the old or a conscious choice in favor of growth?

For me, movement is not an escape. This is growth. If I feel that the environment has become cramped for my senses, I change it. Moving, new spheres is a way not to freeze. I always move “to”, not “from”.

You talk about spirituality not as an escape from reality, but as an instrument of life. At what point did you realize that numbers, meanings and inner work are not a hobby, but a language spoken by your heart?

Finally, during my second pregnancy. Exactly with my son.

This boy seemed to introduce me to another dimension of reality. At that time, I felt very clearly: spirituality is not an interest or a hobby, it is my natural language. I began to understand signs, numbers, energy, breathing more deeply. I felt people subtly and accurately - as if their stories were revealed to me without unnecessary words.

In fact, this ability has been with me all my life - people always opened up very quickly next to me. But that's when I realized: it's not an accident, it's a tool. And I can use it not just to understand, but to help — to guide, support, translate complex internal processes in the language of spirituality.

From that moment it became not a hobby, but a vocation.

Was there a decision in your life that could look illogical or risky from the outside, but inside you knew for sure - this is your way?

Yes. And for many it looked completely illogical. I got married after five days of acquaintance.

When I told my loved ones, they literally grabbed their heads. From the outside, it looked like impulse, risk, almost madness. But inside I had an amazing silence and clear knowledge: this is my path.

Sometimes logic is silent where intuition speaks. I can't explain it with formulas or arguments — it was a deep inner “yes”, without doubts and fluctuations.

Today, the result of this decision is ten years of union and two sons. And I am grateful to myself at that time for the courage to trust not the fears of others, but my own sense of truth.

Many women live in a regime of constant internal tension, between expectations, roles and their own desires. How to learn to distinguish where the real choice is and where the scenario is, which is long overwritten?

Because of honesty with yourself. If the decision is born out of fear or the desire to meet expectations, this is not your choice. True choice always gives a sense of expansion, even if it's scary. The inner “yes” is always quiet, but very clear.

If you looked back at the girl you were at 17, what would you like to say to her today?

I would say:

“You can do more than you think. Don't rush to grow up, but don't be afraid of your strength. And remember that everything that is destroyed frees up space for more.

Don't rely on the opinion of your friends as the only truth. Don't be afraid to dislike someone and don't try to please everyone. You have it. And you are the main director of your life.

No one knows better than you what you feel and what you live in in your deepest moments. Therefore, do not betray yourself and do not allow other people's voices to block your inner.

Make only the decisions you really want. Because you will have to live it for you.”

What illusions, in your opinion, most often prevent you from really changing your life and why is it most difficult to say goodbye to them?

The biggest illusion is that "it's not time yet." That something else needs to be proved, achieved, earned. The second is that changes must be painful and destructive.

These illusions are difficult to say goodbye to because they give a sense of control. To give up control means to trust. And trust for many women is the most terrible territory.

Why is comparison with others so destructive for women, and how to get out of this circle without self-deception?

Women are taught to look at themselves through the eyes of others. Comparison kills contact with one's own uniqueness.

We are starting to live not our own lives, but the "version that should be liked".

You can get out of this circle only through honesty with yourself: What do I want? Not the world. Not a family. Not social networks. And I am today.

What first steps do you recommend women to take to overcome the crisis, to regain themselves, a sense of inner support and confidence?

The first step is to stop. Don't run into activity.

The second is to return to the body: breathing, sleep, simple rituals.

The third is to allow yourself to be imperfect.

The crisis is not the end. It's an invitation to remember who you really are, without roles and expectations.

If you could paint a picture that personifies the awakening of a person, what would that picture be? What would be depicted on it, what colors are inherent?

It would be a picture without clear contours. A woman at dawn. Half light, half shadow. Warm sandy, milky, golden shades.

She stands with her back to the past and faces the space. Without fear. No rush.

There is no tension in this picture - only silence and deep "I am".

I propose now to imagine that you and I are somewhere on the seashore ... And we have many postcards that we will send to every woman on the planet. What message would you write?

You don't have to be someone else.

You don't have to wait for permission.

Everything you're looking for is already breathing within you.

Stop. Feel it. And trust yourself.”

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